Networking: the old saying goes “it’s not what you know but who you know”. While we would like to think our knowledge and expertise are the heart of our careers, knowing the right people at the right time is an essential part of being a professional.
Whether entrepreneur or employee, most people can remember a time when having acquaintance with someone connected them to an opportunity or made opening a certain door a little bit easier. Acquaintance is so important that we have given seeking it a name: networking. We plan entire events around the simple act of meeting people who may at some point connect us to something or someone that helps meet a need. I have a love-hate relationship with networking. Let me tell you why.
I love meeting new people and learning about who they are, what they do and what they want to do next. Being able to connect with people is integral to my career as a consultant and is at the heart of my background in mental health and my expertise in learning & development.
When I started my business I made networking a regular part of my routine so I could get my brand out into the marketplace in pursuit of leads. From professional events to 1:1 meetings, I was out and about multiple days a week trying to connect. I quickly learned that just as much as I loved meeting new people I disliked networking and now, almost a decade later, I’m just figuring out why.
The people around you greatly impact the way you see the world so I learned the value of surrounding myself with positive, like-minded people many years ago. I get excited when I meet people I can admire and look up to whether for their character or their experience and I always thought networking would help fill that need. Inspirational people energize me.
My office and my home have motivating quotes and sayings all around to keep my thoughts positive and uplifting. I thought networking with like-minded people would also be inspiring, and for me, making business deals was just icing on the cake. While I have met some great people and made some productive connections while networking, most often it quickly becomes a string of invitations to meet up for coffee for what turns out to be sales pitches.
Over the years I have received countless invitations to gatherings or requests for conference calls and meetings only to learn they were presentations, pitches or other attempts to sell me something. I get it, that’s the true purpose of networking. Networking events and groups are designed to bring people together to, ultimately, result in someone making a business deal. Yet, somehow, every time an invite for a cup of coffee turns into a sales pitch or a phone call becomes a request to come speak at my job, I feel a rush of disappointment.
The worst is when it’s obvious that I have no use for their goods or services and they just want access to my “network”, as if I would subject the people I have connections with to sharing their information with someone I’ve just met. Afterwards I remind myself that I would have just as easily offered my services if the opportunity arose and that meeting that person could help me at some point, but there is still the slight twinge of disappointment that lingers in my mind.
Make no mistake, when I meet someone and there is a clear connection I can make for them, I jump at the opportunity. If I need your goods or services, or know someone that does, the deal is quickly made. If I don’t, I try to stay connected just in case things change. There have been many times that I saved a business card and called the person later to do business.
I’m even willing to connect on social media and to introduce you to someone specific if requested. That’s how I think networking should work, making connections that make sense while maintaining the integrity of all involved. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. So with each networking opportunity, I have to remember it is the means to an end, a proven strategy that could lead to a connection that will be life changing, a necessary burden of business.
